Random.

          Hai. Its 28th October today. On the last post I said that I'll update about something... But words are words. Tak sempat pun nak update sebab banyak sangat benda nak kena buat. Tak ada lah banyak benda nak kena buat pun . Student kan. Study je lah . Tapi sem ni macam agak busy. Maybe sibuk sebab banyak aktiviti kelab nak kena handle. Kalau ada masa lapang pun, aku akan tidur, or main game, or online sampai tertidur.

       Hari ni, baru je habis test 1 Statistics. Went pretty well (kut) Semalam ada test Calculus 3. Okay lah. Jawab je. Betul salah tak tahu haaha. Cuma rasanya Test 1 ODE ke laut kut. Oh ODE stands for Ordinary Differential Equation. Fancy but, trust me, it walks it's name.

     2 consecutive days hadap buku sebab nak prepare untuk test. So , harini, saja datang library. Nak download movie and upadate my game since esok tak ada apa apa test or quiz. Internet library ni sumpah lah laju dodooool. Maybe sebab student diploma tak ada, and aku je living creature dalam ni (except staff library lewl)

     Tadi tengah main game. Tapi rasa macam dah malas nak sambung, saja bukak blog. Tiba tiba teringat pasal something. Ada 1 post lama tu. But, dah revert jadi draft. So other people cant see it. Except me.

    Reading back that post, which i wrote in 2012 It made me realise something. Sometimes, it's good to make notes about your life and what happened. Because you cant remember every detail of them. But, writing them down will help you to remember.

And, hahaha. Its nostalgic.

 

3August2015

   Assalamualaikum. Its been forever since the last time I updated my blog. I peeked at my blog's traffic just now (where you can track how many people viewed your blog. And you can actually track the region your blog's readers are at)

   And, apparently, most of my viewers are not from Malaysia (which is pretty odd because I do write in bahasa at times and i cant seem to identify how the hell did foreigners ended up viewing my blog hahaha)

   Okay. My English vocabulary isnt that great tho'. So, nak tulis dalam Bahasa Melayu. And you cannot google translate it because Im sure the translation will surely be funny and non-english-like sentences hahaha

    Sekarang aku tengah cuti semester. Haritu habis exam 10 Julai 2015. Sempat lah puasa semingu dekat rumah. But the greatest thing is kitorang dapat beraya sepenuhnya di rumah tanpa merisaukan perlu balik ke kampus selepas hari raya.

    Eww. Ingat ada mood ke nak study lepas raya? Mood belajar tu macam dah melayang pergi jauh dan tak mungkin kembali.

Ohh nak cerita benda ni sebenarnya. Harini adalah hari pertama aku bekerja. Walaupun aku akan balik kampus awal bulan 9 nanti, aku tetap nak kerja jugak. Lepaslah dapat gaji untuk sebulan. Basic RM800. Which sounds, pretty good to me. Sebab bukan ada buat apa pun kan rumah.

Tapi sebenarnya aku memang taknak kerja pun! (kahkah!!!) aku nak duduk kat rumah and cuti sepuasnya. Bila lagi nak berehat? but, aku kena cari duit untuk beli semula jam tangan yang ayah and wan kasi masa birthday aku dulu.

Sumpah aku sayang nak mampus jam tu. Aku akan pakai jam tu almost 24 hours a day, (kecuali masa mandi) Waktu tidur pun aku akan pakai jam tau. Sebab dah jadi habit. Cuba kau bayangkan, aku hilang jam tu!

Bukan missplaced kat tempat awam sebab aku akan check jam aku without fail before keluar dari tempat awam. Untuk hilang benda lain mungkin possible kat tempat awam. But my watch? NO. Because I check everytime before leaving that specific place.

Aku malas nak cerita macam mana jam tu boleh hilang. Sebab, rasa macam complicated and seram sikit pun ada.

So, the first thing aku akan buat dengan duit gaji tu is beli jam tangan yang baru. Aku tengah mencari idea macam mana nak bagitahu kat ayah dengan wan aku terhilangkan jam tu. Pretty sure they're not gonna be happy with that.

Oh. Its 10.50pm. I'm going to sleep now. Tadi pergi kerja. aku tak ada kasut sebab wan pakai kasut kulit yang aku nak pakai pergi kerja tu. Jadi aku terpaksa pakai boot yang ada heels tu and stand for 8hours! That wasnt pretty.....
And aku panjat tangga pakai kasut tu. Kalau heels tu tersangkut, hmm mau tangga tu hempap aku.

Okay dah lah. Sampai disini je . Aku rasa luar biasa betul penat harini.

Mungkin aku akan kembali untuk menceritakan aku punya pengalaman bekerja kahkahkah. Stay tuned !

2245 hours

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Harini ada something yang aku nak share dengan, readers blog (kalau ada). Kalau tak ada pun, I think, it would be such a great burden relief if I write it down, here.

Aku tak tahu lah. Is it normal to feel insecure while looking at pretty, or decent woman? or, skinny woman ? Aku rasa macam, dibenam dalam tanah je bila tengok perempuan perempuan lawa kat instagram.

It made me feel so timid and down to Earth. I felt like digging up a hole and bury my face in the ground. Bukan tak bersyukur. NO. Tak langsung. But , I cant help myself but to feel that way.

Sometimes, when I looked to those skinny girls, with nice curvy body (which I consider perfect and beautiful), I felt the same way. I'm embarrassed. So, I started to think that I need to lose some weight.

When I dont eat and people asked why, I said, 'I need to lose weight. I think I kinda plumped. ' and, people just, at lost of word to say anything. They said, my body is okay. 'You're not fat. You're not too thin. You're okay' But, I insisted. I still think the same. I need to go on diet.

Not only diet. I go out almost everyday (when Im on my semester break) to exercise. Sometimes, I go to the stadium for a swim. Or, at times, I go out for a jog. If Im too lazy to go out, or its raining, I'll just stay in my room and do some cardio. (Actually now i have sore legs and abs. Maybe because I overworked)

See. I always push myself. Just to lose weight. My mom said, 'ada yang tak kena dengan otak kamu ni'

Lately, ada orang tweet 'dah kurus. tapi rasa diri tu gemok. Annoying doh'

Eversince that, I dah tak boleh tweet

' I need to lose weight'
' My thigh are growing'
'I need to workout'

Bukan saya yang pilih nak fikir macam tu. Saya nak makan apa yang saya teringin nak makan. Saya nak duduk dalam bilik and enjoy most of the time watching movies and eating snacks. Tapi saya tak boleh.

Saya sekat makan, saya sekat kemalasan saya tak nak workout. Saya tahan semua.

Saya tahu apa yang orang lain fikir. 'Ish dia ni. Dah kurus, cakap diri tu gemuk'

But, I just cant help myself :(

Maaf kalau awak rasa offended in anyway. Orang yang kenal saya, tahu, saya macam mana. So, I really hope, you guys(whoever you are) to stop judging like you really know me. It hurts to know what you guys think. And , it hurts even more to pretend that I dont care, but actually I do :(

2nd sem

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Its been awhile since the last time I logged in into my blogger account. How time flies. This is my first post in 2015. Im doing my degree in Kelantan. Currently in my second semester. Everything is doing great. Except for the fact that, I cant believe I survived for almost a year now in Kelantan (lol. tak dapat move on dari fakta ni lagi)

Bila log in dalam account blogger, saya buka traffic (blog view count). Suprisingly, there are still people who are viewing my blog ( gila lah. apa je yang korang baca kat sini do?)

Last month count , ada 48 people viewing my blog. Aduh. Saya sendiri pun tak bukak blog saya wakk :(

Actually, saya ada masa nak jenguk blog ni sekejap pun , sebab now is my midsem break. Dapat lah cuti seminggu. Tak ada apa apa assignment kena buat. But, bukak je sem nanti, mesti banyak gila test and quizes. 

Aku tengok kelas lain, bukan main bersusun test diorng for every subject. Kelas aku, satu test pun tak buat lagi. (Okay. buat muka cebik sikit) BERAPA BANYAK NAK KENA KEJAR DO? hmm #SisSedih

Probably, starting tomorrow, I need to glue myself at the library, for the rest of the week -_-

okbye.